Darth Hipster
The Kale-in-a-mason-jar irony is strong with him... Complete with ironic backwards retro trucker hat, checked shirt, enormous beard, weird coloured upcycled shoes, skinnier than humanly possible pants with turnups, sunglasses regardless of weather, and a locally sourced organic fair-trade low fat decaf coconut soy medium dry no foam chai-paccino (you wouldn't have heard of it) and a carrier bag of kale or something.